Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed
I know you are somewhere out there, maybe getting back from school or university maybe taking care of you children. Someone who is actually me.
Reading and reading, everything from a book to my small blog, having a great wish to say something but then comes the “but”. You just can’t. The fear is bigger than anything you have experienced, to expose yourself. All the stress and anxiety you have tried to hide for years rises upon surface.
All the people who said you aren’t good enough from a small age, that fed your self-esteem come to visit you. You say hello and they ignore. Ignorance was something I know very well for being “the invisible girl”, “the nice” oh my favorite “the smart one” most of the times it never bothered me, but with all my quirkiness I used to look around and ask myself “why can’t I be one of them”. Now I realize that I’ll never be, and now I know I don’t want to be like them. From my perspective I can look around without being judged, I can be myself without boundaries.
If I could send a message to my 8 year old self it would be: “Enough thinking that you are stupid, do what ever you want to do from being weird until being too nice. Enough looking at those perfect little girl who always bring you down because one day it will change. Always but always be loyal yo yourself, don’t be scared of singing in front of people from the fear of what they’ll say about you. Study hard and stop wondering if those are your friends just because of your brain. Remember that I love you and now it’s time to you to love yourself.”
We learn different things as the time passes, we discover what we love and what we hate. Who we want to get to know and who we should be careful. The past is something we carry our whole lives but one day we need to let it go. Life is a period you have the chance to do as much as you can. Don’t waste it on wondering what if or what will.
JUST DO IT NOW.