Have you ever felt the feeling of not feeling?
3 A.M in the morning and I begin to wonder….
you stare at the one you supposed to loved, that loves you more than anything in the world and you just sit still. You can’t take a word out of your mouth. You are just frozen like an iceberg in the middle of the ocean that made the titanic sink.
then you questionasse yourself about whats wrong with yourself? your family thinks you are replacing the snow queen, heartless. You might feel constantly the feeling of discomfort and you can’t make yourself comfort near you partner. I know because it happens to me and sometimes the discomfort leads me to the feeling of suffocating, suddenly I cant do nothing except thinking about it.
it doesn’t meant something is wrong with you, maybe it’s not the right person. I think like that sometimes and other times I just wonder if its possible that not like other girls I just can’t like someone easily? How can it be? This doesnt have an answer, our body is so mysterious that we don’t know nothing, the brain decides whats right for him and maybe his a little bit harsh in his choices or maybe his waiting for your best match.
but after all, you just. cant. feel.
you have tried to obligate yourself to feel, maybe something will come out but no.
The biggest question people like us ask is: Will we ever feel what love feels like?
The thing is that I don’t know.
Even if you never felt what is love it doesn’t mean you are heartless. we have our family, our pets and even thing that are important to us and we will do anything to protect them.
When it comes to love…. It just disappears.
I look at his loving face willing to do everything and more to make me happy. And I. I can’t even say “I like you” because I’m not even sure.
The weird thing is, do you know what you feel for sure? How we always come to the situation that X loves Y and Y loves T and T loves I that loves X, It’s a never-ending circle, why can’t it go right?!
eventually we and up with someone who was in love with you for years and you discover a different side of him only after years of acquaintance and evaluate the possibility of falling in love. And still, Why cant I feel?
Think about it, maybe we hold a person for too long. While we desperately try to fall in love, they fall for us even more. One they might stumble and understand their masochistic love: loving the unlovable. We are cold, and hard to open but they don’t know that it’s not something easy, we or at least I want to feel. I want to fall in love for real just like my parents, and not live a life without tasting the taste of love.
I was never the type that talked about love, I always prefers science and literature. But loving to write comes with a consequence: it makes you understand who you really are.
Who are you?
Maybe its just me, Maybe not.
I wish all of you to feel. Feel every single thing from happiness to pain.
we have a limited time and should make the best out of it.
From me to you,
The Wonders Of Gabby At 3 A.M